Ethnic Difference

Dear anonymous Asian female,
I'd like to start this answer with a poem I often reflect on:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
For better or worse, you cannot change the color of your skin or the shape of your eyes. These superficial aspects of your body are an intimate part of who you are, as they comprise the first layer of your persona that everyone encounters.
The key, then, is to learn to accept them. They're part of you. And they're beautiful. Sure, you may have had some acne or something thanks to the joys of puberty and its related hormonal changes, but Asian skin is remarkably resilient. If you're like most Asian women, you'll probably look 30 when you're 40, and your youthful looks will have others growing green with envy. As for your eyes, there have been billions of women who shared the shape of your eyes and many have been thought amongst the most beautiful women in the world. You literally possess the color of conquerors and the eyes of empresses.
To put it simply, there's nothing wrong with having Asian physical features; anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool, and their hateful words are worth nothing. Be proud of your body. Keep it in shape. Keep it clean. Dress comfortably and love yourself. You deserve it.
All that said, I think your question has at its heart the uncomfortable clash of culture that just about every Asian-American faces. Each of us, I think, has tried to make ourselves "more" than the ethnicity we are perceived to be a part of, particularly given that we don't have the luxury of blending into the Caucasian background--we stand out. If I may, I'd like to share with you a metaphorical approach that helped me come to peace with the struggle I suspect you're having.
Your motherland gave you the color of your skin, the shape of your eyes, the sheen of dark hair, and an associated history that is filled with rich heritage and culture. Your fatherland has given you the love of your adoptive parents, the language you speak, the education you possess, and the culture that you find comforting.
Consider this: if I asked you to select one of your adoptive parents to sacrifice, would you be able to easily pick one to instantly disappear from your life forever?
I certainly hope not!
So in similar fashion, love both your parent lands. There's no need to pick. They have each already given you remarkable and praise-worthy aspects of the person you are. You are the child of two cultures, and one is not superior to the other. They are both awesome. And when you start to see that everything that makes you who you are is a gift and opportunity to learn and become a more amazing human being, I think this question of yours will solve itself.
The confidence required to be proud of your ethnicity will never come from whether or not others find your Asian features attractive; nor will it come from some easy painless route. It has to come from within you, and realistically, this will take time. But have courage! The withered sense of pride in your ethnicity is something you can change. It will grow, if you give it a bit of love each day. And one day, I hope you'll be able to pass this on to someone else who needs it.
With love,
~Jae